There's usually one or two people whose presence subtly raises your bar — not by criticising you, but by being a particular way themselves. You speak more carefully, listen better, act with a bit more integrity. This prompt asks you to name them, and to write about what they do that has that effect.
Naming them is also a quiet way to thank them.
Writing about who calls forth your best self lets you understand what kind of company actually grows you — usually quieter, more grounded, and less impressed-by-itself than the cultural archetype of 'inspiring people'. It also helps you choose where to spend your time and energy: more time with people who quietly raise you, less with those who quietly shrink you.
Useful when you've drifted into the wrong kind of company, when you're choosing how to invest your social time, or after spending time with someone who left you a little more like yourself than usual. Also good before a season of important decisions.
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Name one or two people, no more.
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Describe what specifically they do that has the effect.
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Note how being around them changes your behaviour.
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Identify what you can borrow from them in their absence.
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Choose one small way to spend more time with them this month.
Other ways to ask the same thing
“Whose presence makes you a slightly better version of yourself?”
“Who quietly raises your standard?”
“Around whom do you act more like the person you want to be?”
It's tempting to list the most accomplished or impressive people you know. Push past status. The right names are often the ones who quietly model a way of being — listening, restraint, plain honesty — rather than performing one. Status and 'best self' are not the same input.
Two: my old mentor R., and my friend D. R. listens like the answer matters; in her presence I stop performing wit and start saying what I actually mean. D. holds her own life with quiet care — she sleeps, she eats well, she doesn't gossip — and around her I find myself doing the same without effort. To borrow when they're not around: I'll start meetings with one beat of silence (R.) and I'll opt out of one gossip thread (D.). More time this month: I'll suggest a slow Saturday breakfast with D. No agenda. Just the example.